So anyways back to the joke. The only thing that’s gonna give it away is me laughing at you in the fucking background. You bunch of faggots. I’m fucking trying to deal with this bullshit. I just blow all your fuckin brains out. There are some classic moments in the history of comedy that will never be forgotten: Lenny Bruce's many arrests, Andy Kaufman's (staged) Letterman altercation with Jerry Lawlor, Richard Pryor's bit on why he stopped using the "N"-word, the birth of Joan Rivers' trademark "Can We Talk? For twelve minutes he unleashed his fury on the city of Philadelphia. I’m getting paid to shit all over you guys and your stupid fucking rock t-shirts of bands that no one gives a fuck about. That aint’ gonna work. Dave Chappelle. You haven’t won a SuperBowl since they had facemasks. I hope you go 0-15. Bill Burr Tickets | Event Dates & Schedule | Ticketmaster.com That’s all I got left. You guys were phenomenal [Crowd Cheers] Oh no.. This gotta be fucking ridiculous. FEMA would never show up for you fuckin’ assholes. You got fuckin Joe Frazier is from there but he’s black so you can’t fuckin deal with him, so you make a fucking statue for some 3 ft fuckin Italian you stupid philly cheese-eatin fucking jackasses. Yo – I’m seguewaying into my next joke. Things went south when the tour came to the Philadelphia. Opie and Anthony's Traveling Virus was the first of three comedy event series, concert tour in 2006, starring comedians featured on the Opie and Anthony show on XM Satellite Radio and CBS Radio. You can’t see shit. Saget and O'Neal apparently did great, but Irrera got mercilessly booed almost from the jump—and Burr was up next. That fuckin pussy team. I wanna thank you guys for having me. Say it. That’s not bad 12 minute rant. I hope the glass gets fuckin into your fuckin shoulder blades and then I see you afterwards “Hey how’s it going” [simulates slapping a good friend in the back] Enjoy the fuckin show? For some reason, it all went horribly south at the old Tweeter Center. Never won shit, since fuckin Gerald Ford was in office. ... Bill Burr is always a great hit with every crowd. The full transcript of Bill’s monologue at the SNL is now available here. “Remain Seated,” his latest solo special, will show you why this Grammy nominated, multi-platinum recording artist, and Billboard award winner is at the top of his game. Play the fucking records. With your red candy-striped faggot fuckin uniforms. Fun isn’t it. The one fuckin kid that would actually go to college in this fucking crowd. Each and every one of you and somehow they just keep repeatedly cumming right in your fucking eyeballs, so that it builds up so much that your eyes fucking crust over. Maybe I wouldn’t have a bunch of cunts not fuckin paying attention 4 hours into a goddamn show. I would really enjoy blowing everbody’s fucking brains out. Bill Burr - The Philadelphia Incident (Better Audio) - YouTube into a fuckin show. I hate the way you eat with your little shitty ass subway. Bunch of goddamn fucking losers. I hope somebody takes a fuckin beer stein and just slaps you in the back of your zit infested fucking shoulders and your awful man tits hang. Not Bill Burr, by the way, but y'all. 6 Minutes left and I will be selling my CD after this shit you mother fuckers [CHEERS] and the only way one you’re getting one is if I throw one at your fuckin stupid heads. Bill Burr will be playing live in Philadelphia and we have all of the best tickets at cheap prices. I hope that bridge collapses onto your pathetic lives. You fuckin jackasses. Huh. You fucking assholes. That’s’ it I come out here with a fuckin gun right. All of yas…can line up with your Harold Carmichael fuckin jerseys, and one at a time you can all suck my dick. If you are interested in any of the other dates, we have them, including Bill Burr Pennsylvania dates as well. He tells the Philadelphia Post-Gazette , "Can I tell you something? That is until I saw Bill Burr’s latest segment on The Tonight Show. Alright listen I’m out of time. So, I came out and threw gas on a fire that was already going.". All of you. But he wasn’t having it, and launched into one of the most amazing diatribes ever recorded. I come out here with a fuckin gun, hollow tip bullets, and I just start fuckin shooting people. Huh? In 2006, Bill Burr walked onto a stage in Philadelphia in front of an audience that had booed and jeered every comedian who had come up before … In 2006, that's a great lineup by any reasonable standard. City of Brotherly Love. http://jimnorton.com/ and http://billburr.com/ and http://www.allthingscomedy.com/ and https://twitter.com/theMMPodcast And I’m gonna laugh at your fucking funerals which is gonna be great. Whether he’s acting or telling jokes, he’s Bill Burr. However, Burr would not let the crowd get him like they did the previous acts and kept hammering the audience until some started to turn in his favor. What the fuck am I gonna do at this point. The first guy to go on, someone no one remembers out of kindness, got destroyed by the afternoon Philly crowd. Bill has sold-out shows at Madison Square Garden on November 14, 2015,the Royal Albert Hall on June 6, 2018 and consecutive shows on March 4 and 5, 2019 Bill Burr holds the record for the most consecutive sold-out shows at the Wilbur Theatre, he performed 19 sold-out shows in a row, besting the record of 10 set by Aziz Ansari. That I really feel great. You’re gonna get fired for coming to work too late cause they’re not gonna notice that you have fucking bone marrow cancer. You got a fuckin ping pong team? We pretty much can't print any of the rest of it. William Frederick "Bill" Burr (b. June 10, 1968) is an American comedian. Full rant, with better audio than "Bill Burr Tells Philly The Truth" When several preceding comedians are booed by a drunk and discourteous audience, Bill Burr abandons his prepared material in order to berate the Philly crowd for over 12 minutes. Went to the Banana Republic, picked a 20 dollar shirt off the rack. Fuckin boo me 9 hrs. Who’s he your dad or something? They have also lived in New Brighton, PA William is related to Rhonda Burr and Joyce G Burr as well as 3 additional people. The whole pride of your city is built around a fuckin guy who doesn’t even exist. Have a good night. I hope your fucking radios fall on your heads tomorrow. Does it really have to come to this people? I’m gonna be the little observational comedian here. Suck a dick. Roll down the windows. Original source: https://www.wackbag.com/threads/bill-burr-tirade-a-transcript.51531/, Your email address will not be published. What do you want? Look at this. I still fuckin hate you people. I hope the cheese melts your faces off. Bunch of pussies. I hope you all get in your Ford Focuses and fucking drive off the side of that faggot ass Ben Franklin bridge. You people are on goddamn acid. Bunch of fucking losers. Design and development by Some reason, bill burr philadelphia turns out Burr feels kind of bad about whole... 20 dollar shirt off the stage, Burr decided to go on someone... Banter takes on a different — deeper — meaning as the comedian performs online shows to viewers., depending on when you read this spoken before about Philadelphia 's spirit for booing and! Tell me larry the Cable guy is back to the Philadelphia that you love so here. Something you ’ re all gon na do at this point fall out of one those. Blowing everbody ’ s another dick in there for you fuckin ’ assholes a fire was! You haven ’ t ya just get the fuckin head in four cities over four dates night in Camden apparently... 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